CREATIVITY FRIDAY: Life after deadline

It’s now been just over two weeks since I finished my latest draft of THE LILY MAID. So, you might be wondering, what’s it like? Am I thrilled? Am I taking time to smell the flowers?

Um, yes and no.

The truth is that I have a hard time after a period of intense creativity. While I’m relieved to not wake up every morning thinking, I must get to work immediately, there is definitely a sense of  loss. I’m often not happy upon finishing big projects, just anxious. A good friend observed, “It’s like you’ve just delivered a baby. Now you’re waiting to see if it’s going to survive in the world.”

I also have difficulties reemerging into the world after being sequestered for so long. The hypersensitivity I need to create needs to be tamped down to deal effectively with New York City life, but it takes time. Now that I’m older I understand that these are all normal reactions for a confirmed INFJ HSP introvert—much as I adore my friends and family, I need regular time alone. Otherwise, I become depressed and overwhelmed by stimulation. Fortunately, writing, designing, and illustrating books gives me plenty of time alone.

My agent wisely advised, “Go for long walks. Clear your head. Do grounding things.” And I have been. On the professional front, I’ve continued to design projects for my wonderful freelance clients even while I was writing THE LILY MAID—it makes me happy to help them promote and transform their businesses. Now I have more time to do so. Among others, I’ve been working with the amazing Sandra Gulland to help her launch her new e-book imprint, Sandra Gulland Ink. I created a book video for C. W. Gortner’s latest opus.

As for myself, I’ve been gardening and taking those long walks, spending time with friends and family. I’ve been fixing up my studio. (Because I moved studios mid-deadline, I had only enough time to set up the barest necessities.) I’m also thinking ahead to what’s next. I’m not ready to begin work on another book, though I’m getting inklings of what the next one may be. Instead, I’m amassing a list of things I need to fix or refine on THE LILY MAID now that I have a little distance from my draft. I’ve returned to working on the relaunch of this website, which has been long overdue. I’m also excited about upcoming travels with my family.

So life moves on, even after an intense deadline.

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WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: And so it begin again….

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THE LILY MAID: and that’s that—for now….

“I am half sick of shadows,” said
The Lady of Shalott….
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces thro’ the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look’d down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack’d from side to side;
“The curse is come upon me,” cried
The Lady of Shalott.”

—Tennyson, The Lady of Shallot

* * * * *

Yesterday my draft of THE LILY MAID was e-mailed to my literary agent.

First sentence: “A painting undermined my father.”

Last sentence: “Afterward, I realized I had not thought of St. John Dulac at all.”

In between: about two and a half years of work, including two research trips to England, several writer’s retreats, two writer’s conferences, a trip to Montreal to view the Waterhouse exhibit, and many, many hours of obsession and hands on keyboard.

Right now, I’m caught between exhaustion and relief and trepidation. I know it’s time to move into the next phase, but it’s hard to let go. I comfort myself by thinking that no matter what happens, I’ve done what I can. And that’s that—for now.

————————————–

Above, The Lady of Shalott painted by J. W. Waterhouse. The artist painted three treatments of the poem. This one depicts her turning to look at Lancelot, thus bringing the curse upon herself.

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THE LILY MAID: 7 days to go….

Another surprise from my garden: we have cherry blossoms! It’s a very young tree, though, so I wasn’t expecting it to bloom yet. And speaking of surprises: I discovered a nascent plot thread which is insisting to be included in THE LILY MAID. It came to me in a flash last night, as I was mulling over a new scene added as a result of my protagonist’s new-and-improved sexual encounter. (Ah, the joys of pushing character development to the next level!)

As a novelist, I consider myself a combination pantser-plotter. Much as I try to plot my novels, when push comes to shove, my subconscious holds the best cards firmly in hand. This sort of by-the-seat-of-my-pants last minute plot development is, alas, very typical of me, much as I attempt otherwise. My critique partners have become accustomed to me sending “Wait, I’ve a better idea!” e-mails after declaring a chapter resolutely and definitively finished. Sigh.

The plot thread is about my protagonist being given a Kodak camera, which was the first “Brownie” professing to make photography accessible to the general public. It was first sold in 1888, the year the main action of my novel takes place. Advertisements bragged that the Kodak was “The latest and best outlet for amateurs.”

I’ve mixed emotions about including this new plot thread at this late stage of the game. On the “argh” side: With just a week to go, adding new material wasn’t what I expected—I’d planned to be down to the last details by now. On the “yay” side: this thread will allow me to tie together two important plot points, allow me to flesh out an underdeveloped secondary character, as well as give my protagonist an excellent reason to be in the right place at the right time.

Another good thing: much of this photography plot thread was included in the very first draft of THE LILY MAID. All I need to do is take what I’ve already written and weave back it in, which hopefully won’t take long. I deleted this photography thread when it seemed discursive—a case of “killing my darlings” for the novel’s greater good.

Or so I thought—turns out my subconscious knew best all along. And now I know why.

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THE LILY MAID: 9 days to go….

Though it’s a holiday weekend, I’m still revising away here on THE LILY MAID. Even so, I took some time off last night for a family dinner and this morning to help Thea dye some Easter eggs. (We are decidedly ecumenical when it comes to holidays—we’ll also celebrate Passover and whatever other holiday coincides with spring. That’s life married to an anthropologist.)

Yesterday, I decided to go back into Part III to add a missing piece I suspected might be important. It’s a rather passionate love scene between my protagonist and a main character. I was on the fence about writing it since I questioned its necessity—I mean, wasn’t it enough to fade to black? We all know what’s going to happen, right? Was there any need for me to get into the mechanics of it all? But sure enough, once I wrote the scene, I realized why my conscience was prodding me to go there: their between-the-sheets interactions provided an important insight into motivation and character, allowing me to untangle an unresolved plot thread and character arc that had been nagging me from the beginning.

Now it all makes sense. Plus I got to throw in an excerpt from Tennyson’s poem “Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal” to up the emotional ante.

So moral of story: if in doubt, make your characters have sex with each other. You’ll be amazed what you discover about your novel.

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